The Apes

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The Apes

Choice | Juggling 5 Balls | The Apes | Five Lessons

Adapted from an email floating around the Internet.

There was a cage employing five apes.

Inside the cage at the top of the staircase, a Banana hung on a string. How either the stairs or the banana got there, no one knew for sure. Before long, one of the apes went to the stairs and began to climb toward the Banana. To his astonishment, as soon as he touched the stairs, all of the cage's employees were sprayed with Cold Water, himself included. They didn’t like that. Still, after a while another ape, more confident than the others, made an attempt. He, too, was initiated as once again all the apes were sprayed with Cold Water. They didn’t like it that time, either. Now these apes were certainly not rocket scientists (they were apes, after all), but they were fast learners. They all now knew what not to do.

Time passed, and as fate would have it, the Cold Water line rusted through, and Cold Water could haunt the apes no more. Of course the apes didn’t know that. They were apes, after all, and they had long ago learned not to touch the stairs. In fact, occasionally one of the less important apes would attempt to climb the stairs, but the others wouldn’t allow it.

Eventually, one of the apes left the cage to move onto bigger and better things. Soon after, a New Ape joined the cage to replace the one who left.

The New Ape soon saw the Banana and began to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attacked him. Surely, he thought, this is all a simple misunderstanding. So he explained to the others how delicious that Banana would be, and in fact, that he was willing to share it with all of them. After what he felt was a heartwarming conversation, the New Ape tried once again to get that wonderful-looking Banana, but no sooner did he touch the stairs when he was attacked.

I understand now, he thought to himself. I was wrong to climb those stairs, and if I do it again, I will be assaulted.

After a short time, another of the original five apes left the cage, for the outside world offered many exciting opportunities; and like before, another Newcomer came to the cage to replace him.

The Newcomer soon saw the Banana, began to climb the stairs, and was immediately attacked. The first New Ape even took part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Once again, another of the original five apes left the cage only to be replaced by a New One. The New One made it to the stairs and was attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him, of course, had no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they were participating in the beating of the newest ape. Still, they participated with gusto. They were apes, after all.

Eventually all of the original five apes which had been sprayed with cold water left the cage and were replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approached the stairs. It occurred to the Most Recent Ape to ask Why Not? He had noticed that Banana dangling above the stairs and thought that there might be some opportunity there for all the apes in the cage.

The answer he received was very matter-of-fact and straight to the point.

“Because that has always been our policy. We are apes, after all.”